Mothers Aren't Perfect

Mothers Aren’t Perfect

“She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed.”  Proverbs 31:27-28

When Mother’s Day comes around every year, we see reminders of flowers, gifts or greeting cards.  Many have loving thoughts for their mother, but there are a great number who think of their mother with anger, bitterness and un-forgiveness.  I don’t believe there’s such a thing as a perfect mother, but there are uncounted loving mothers who devote their lives to their children.  I am one of those who had an amazing loving mother.

I was reading Proverbs 31:10-30, which most people speak of as the pattern for a ‘perfect wife’.  Yet, as I meditated over this, I could see it also covered what a ‘perfect mother’ would be like.  In verse 17-22, She is energetic and strong, a hard worker; she watches for bargains; her lights burn late into the night. And her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber; she extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy.  She has no fear of winter for her household because all of them have warm clothes.  She quilts her own bedspreads. She dresses like royalty in gowns of finest cloth. This sounds so much like the things my mother did.  She was always busy taking care of her family; cooking, cleaning, preparing for each season.  She sewed most of our clothes and always shopped for bargains.  She visited the poor and the lonely by taking food to them and finding ways to help the needy.  We were always dressed very well and our hair was washed and cut or styled.

Verses 25-27 also fit her; “Strength and honor are her clothing; she shall rejoice in time to come.  She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.”   Also in verse 28, “but a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.”  These scriptures also continue to show my mother; she was strong and was honored by many people.  She was very kind and wise and she loved God and honored him in all she did.  She was certainly praised by many and honored by her children.

In spite of all these wonderful qualities, she was not perfect.  She had her problems, but turned to God in prayer about everything.  We all knew, no matter what happened in our life, our mother always loved us.  I was truly blessed with a wonderful mother who is now in heaven, and I miss her every day.

I have heard so many sad stories of those whose mothers were not kind or loving.  I have such compassion for them; for the one whose mother never loved him/her, or one whose mother was very abusive and for those who have never even known their mothers.  The Bible tells us to honor our mothers but how can one do that after a terrible childhood? Forgive her; this is a part of honoring.  Perhaps you have no contact with her, or maybe you don’t even know who she is, it is still important to your soul to have forgiveness.

Don’t treat your children like you were treated. Set a new example by showing them love, kindness, and respect; always be there for them, listening to them express their feelings.

Are you wondering how you can forgive her when you feel like she is the cause of all your un-happiness? God’s Word has all the answers.  Matthew 6:15 “But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”  That isn’t a suggestion; it’s a statement and a command, no question about it.  If you follow the Word of God, then you know what Romans 3:23 says: “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”  Perhaps this will help you to understand why it is so important to forgive. 

If your mother has repented for earlier actions in your life and she is now a Christian, then God has forgiven her, so how can you not forgive? There are people who don’t want to forgive and they go over and over the past. If you always live in the past, you will never enjoy the future.  Anyone who lives in the past will never be able to get rid of their anger and bitterness and enjoy happiness.

How about your relationship with your children?  Do you quickly lose you temper with them, or are you overindulgent?  Do you treat your children with love and kindness?  You are only kidding yourself if you think your children don’t pick up on that anger.  It doesn’t affect every child, but some children pick up on it and exhibit anger and temper tantrums.   If you are overindulgent with your children to overcompensate because of your own childhood, then you will have a spoiled child who will soon run the household.  

I haven’t been a perfect mother, but I have always tried to be there for them. They all know how much I love them.  I was married very young and when I began having children, I really didn’t know what to do with them.  I thank God my mother was there to advise me. 

Just remember this:  When you were born – you didn’t come with a manual!  Most mothers do the best they know how to do, and they are certainly not perfect, but neither are you.  The only perfect one is Jesus Christ who gave his life for you.  Give your heart to him and he will direct your footsteps to love and to forgive.

For you mothers who have tried to do the best they could; God bless you and keep you in God’s care.  You can depend on His love; that’s why he told us to honor our mothers.