"Falling Out of Love"

April 10, 2016

Falling Out of Love

“And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”   1 Corinthians 13:2 (NKJV)

Years ago I read a quote from Billy Graham which said, “God never promised you that you would always be happy.”  I’ve never forgotten that and it has come to my memory many times when I’ve been so unhappy.  That statement is so appropriate in these days when people get divorced for very small reasons. 

I’m not talking about spouse abuse, unfaithfulness, or things like that, because that’s an entirely different situation.  I am talking about things like, ‘I can’t stand the way he chews’ or,’ he hasn’t picked up his clothes,’ or, ‘he doesn’t take out the garbage without me telling him to.’   He may think, ‘she complains all the time’, ‘she is never satisfied’ or, ‘she’s on the phone or Face book all day long.’  The lists go on and on. It may be you think you have fallen in love with someone else.  Don’t use the excuse of falling out of love because you’re wanting someone else.

These probably are not reasons to ‘fall out of love.’  When we have a healthy, godly mind, I don’t believe you can fall out of love with your spouse.  You may not be happy about certain things, or what he or she does that bugs you, but when you take into account that God loves you just like you are, think about the comparison.  What have you done over the last few days that you know is not pleasing to God? Do you think He has stopped loving you or separates himself from you?

It isn’t just husbands and wives that think they’ve fallen out of love; it can also be your children.  I remember a time when one of my children were living an ungodly life and it drove me to the brink of distraction. So I said to that child, “I love you; I’ll always love you, but I don’t like you anymore.”  I could never ‘not’ love my children, so after a good deal of prayer and leaving it over to God, that child in time has become an awesome servant of God who loves the Lord.

My husband and I have been married over forty years and love each other dearly.  We were both married early in life to other people, but neither of us knew the Lord as our Savior.  Later on we met and married.  It was not until this second marriage that we both were saved – and from there our lives changed greatly.  We soon were studying the Bible daily and realized there were ways we could have changed in our first marriage if we had known the Lord.

Here I speak for myself, because I truly believe that if I had been a Christian, I would not have divorced. I had no knowledge of Biblical principles to follow.  I was more concerned with myself than my marriage and was discontented with life.  I would not have been discontented if I had known Jesus personally. Let me add this; when we do things that are not pleasing to God, if we are repentant he forgives and gives us a new start.  God loved me enough to give me a wonderful, godly husband and I am so grateful.  He feels the same about me.

Now let me clarify this by asking a question.  Why does God hate divorce?  He knows the misery that will come; it’s like tearing and ripping apart others’ lives.  Children suffer from this separation and it affects their lives for years. No matter what you think, divorce is miserable!

Is divorce the unforgivable sin?  No sin is unforgivable except, “Every sin and blasphemy can be forgiven—except blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, which will never be forgiven.”    Matthew 12:31 (NLT)  However, if you are a Christian, ‘Falling out of Love’ is not an excuse to break up a relationship.  In John 15:12, Jesus made this pretty clear, “This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”  How do you argue with that?  Loving one another doesn’t only mean all the other people you know, but it covers your spouse and your children.

Once we began to follow the Word of God, we understand repentance and pray for God’s forgiveness.  Jesus said in Luke 5:32, “I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”  We have all sinned and come short of the glory of God. (Romans 3:23) 

 Let’s pull all this together by reading 1 Corinthians 13:7 (NLT), “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” God loves the unlovable and I’m sure you know people like that.  As a Christian we need to realize that even if it is your husband or your wife or even your child, God loves them and he is not going to ‘fall out of love’ with them. You may not like that person because of their action, or how they treat you, but the Lord tells us we must love them anyway.  We must not wish them to go to Hell – no, you need to pray for them.  Don’t use the excuse that you’ve fallen out of love.  Pray for God’s direction.

However, In I Peter, 3:8-9, I believe that God wants us to live in peace, “Finally, all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one another; love as brothers (each other), be tenderhearted, be courteous; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.”

If you have an abusing or unfaithful relationship, then I believe God does not expect you to remain in that situation even though there must be much prayer.  In I Corinthians 7:15, “But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister (husband or wife) is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace.”